A funeral home reopens. During a ceremony, a man whispers to his neighbour: I’m happy to be here. With these drive-through funerals, if you knew a lot of a lot of old folk, the milage you made!
A shop assistent says to her colleague: I hate it when people shout at you from 1,5m. The other says: Do this! When they shout, you answer very softly. They say they can’t hear you. You do the same and they give up. End of the day, the assistant says: That was a lousy tip! This handsome guy shouts at me. I reply softly. He’s gone! Her colleague asks: What’s the problem? The girl say: He asked me out!
And now a joke twice. First the men’s version:
A guy says to his friend: I’ve been to that massage shop around the corner. They reopened and work corona-safe. You’re lying under a plastic tablecloth. His friend asks: Why go to that place? Those girls are ugly. The guy says: That’s no problem. The plastic is opaque.
And one for the ladies:
A massage shop reopens. The lady in charge says to the girls: We’re gonna work corona-safe. Over the men, you put a plastic table cloth. We got ‘m transparant and opaque. A masseuse asks: With a transparant one, I can see what I’m doing, but when do you use opaque? The lady answers: Stupid question! If the guy is ugly.
And here’s a bonus. For men only!
A prostitute gets her first client in months. She says: You know there’s a € 25 restarting charge? The guy asks: For what? She says: For lub.